Today I am basically in man mode, although I will dress girly even then, I just like the feeling of feminine clothes. I had decided to get some chores done around the house. My wife had gone over to see the grand kids so I was home alone, and yes I do dress around her also. We live on a corner lot. There is a house towards the front of our house and a small apartment building across the street to the side of our house. Someone had put out some free stuff out on the sidewalk. I really wanted to out and see what it was . However the dress that I had chose for the day was a short flower dress, I had not done any makeup, as I had not planned on going anywhere so I know I looked like a dude in a dress .
I started to get self conscious about walking over there in just a dress, even though I do walk out in my front yard dressed feminine quite frequently. So I started thinking, should I put on a bathrobe over my dress? Throw on my “man clothes? Or just go over wearing my dress? My neighbors had not really seen me in feminine clothes, that I know of , so of course I was thinking about what would they think if they did! At the same time I was watching out the window to see if anyone was around that would see me, ultimately, what I decided to do was to put on a pair of shorts and then rolled up my dress to kind of look like it was just a shirt, I was still kind of self conscious , but in my mind I was less noticeable In the end, no one really noticed me or paid attention, so my anxiety was self imposed
The next day I had not planned on going any where that day either or having any one come over except my wifes daughter and her kids of which the oldest is three yrs, and they all had seen me crossdressed before. but with no makeup, other then mascara and eyeliner It had taken my wifes daughter a bit to get over seeing me as a crossdresser , but really had no issues with it, she just thinks its a little weird. The kids really don’t know any better and still call me “papa. What I was not expecting was a suprise visit from my wife’s son. I was sitting in the backyard under our gazebo, when she came out and told me her son was here. I was wearing a semi feminine shirt , short shorts , my fingernails were painted a lavender color, I was wearing feminine sandals and my toenails were painted with a lavender sparkley color. I asked her if she wanted me to change clothes, as her son had never seen me dressed in feminine clothes, however she did not hear me , and went out to meet her son. A couple of minutes later they both came to the back where I was, and she said look who’s here!
At first I again was very self conscious , but after a few minutes of visiting, and no negative reaction that I could see, or acknowledgement of what I was wearing, and as the visit went on I mostly forgot also and became more comfortable . So once again my anxiety was self imposed.
I am realizing more and more that people do not really care what you are wearing or what you look like. And if they do look, its just out of curiosity , and if you look back at them they usually just turn away. I will frequently go out and check the mail or take out the garbage while wearing a dress or skirt. I don’t know if the neighbors even notice or not but I have got to the point that I don’t care .
Today I decided to repaint my finger nails and Toenails . I have manly nails and I like to keep them painted 24/7 , even when I am in “male mode”. I just like the look of painted nails even on a male, the other day I was getting a coffee at our local drive thru, I noticed that our server who was a young man probably in his twentys. He looked like your typical young man , short hair, mustache, and beard. He was wearing a t-shirt and shorts. But then I noticed that he was wearing a feminine pair of sandals and his toenails were painted a melon color. After my initial slight surprise , I was thinking “Good for you dude!” My point is that painting your nails can be a subtle way of being feminine without being out there too much, you could use a flesh color or a light clear color and no one except you would even notice. Besides taking care of your nails is just good practice and hygiene .
I decided to change it up from my usual Lavender color, to a multi color sparkly polish. I love the way they sparkle in the sun! I also find that this polish has a rough texture to it so after it dries, I like to top my nails off with a clear hardener ‘ this helps the durability, and gives them a smooth texture.
So I had an AHA moment a few weeks ago. My wife and I had been selling some stuff on Market place. we hadn’t got any messages on a couple of the things for a couple of days. Then all of a sudden that morning someone showed up at our door wanting to look at something. well i told my wife I could not answer the door because happened to be dressed in a skirt and a cute lil top. I told her I cant go out like this! well she then said that she couldn’t go to the door because she had not put her make up on yet. Even tho she is a beautiful woman with or with out makeup she is self conscious about herself because she has some freckles that she wants to cover up and such and she does not want to present herself without makeup well in the end she conceded and went to answer the door…and I stayed in our room. When she had finished helping them she back in to me and said “I want to ask you a question” She then asked me what was the difference in me being self-conscious about what I wad wearing and her being self-conscious about her not wanting to go out with out make up on. Either way it was a uncomfortable situation for either one of us’ I thought about it for a moment and realized that there really was no difference in the situation. Why was I so afraid that someone I didn’t even know, was going to see me in a skirt? Was I afraid of what they would think? SO WHAT! So they would have something to talk about on the way home! Why should I really care what they think? Yet I did and I made my wife go and talk to them even tho I knew she was self conscious about not having makeup on, thereby saving my self those uncomfortable and putting them on her. My aha moment came when I realized that I should have just sucked it up and went and answered the door, keeping her from those uncomfortable feelings that I was trying to avoid. why would I do that to someone who loves and accepts me unconditionally ? I was being selfish! and who cares what anyone else thinks!
A similar situation came up the other day, She had to do a couple of errands and I decided to ride along with her. I was basically in dude mode but I was wearing some short shorts and a pink flowered top. No Makeup. I was just a dude wearing feminine clothes. well we decided that we would stop at a convenience store and get a soda. When we parked we kind of looked at each other and wondered who was going in. I thought back to the above situation and said I will go in and I did. Bottom line is no one really paid attention to me or what I was wearing. My point is if you want to go out as a male wearing more feminine clothes, Just do it, if you want to go out and present as female, Just do it, The only person you need to care about is you, do what feels good to you! and who cares what anyone else thinks, Its not your problem if someone has a problem with you, its their problem!