Today I am basically in man mode, although I will dress girly even then, I just like the feeling of feminine clothes. I had decided to get some chores done around the house. My wife had gone over to see the grand kids so I was home alone, and yes I do dress around her also. We live on a corner lot. There is a house towards the front of our house and a small apartment building across the street to the side of our house. Someone had put out some free stuff out on the sidewalk. I really wanted to out and see what it was . However the dress that I had chose for the day was a short flower dress, I had not done any makeup, as I had not planned on going anywhere so I know I looked like a dude in a dress .
I started to get self conscious about walking over there in just a dress, even though I do walk out in my front yard dressed feminine quite frequently. So I started thinking, should I put on a bathrobe over my dress? Throw on my “man clothes? Or just go over wearing my dress? My neighbors had not really seen me in feminine clothes, that I know of , so of course I was thinking about what would they think if they did! At the same time I was watching out the window to see if anyone was around that would see me, ultimately, what I decided to do was to put on a pair of shorts and then rolled up my dress to kind of look like it was just a shirt, I was still kind of self conscious , but in my mind I was less noticeable In the end, no one really noticed me or paid attention, so my anxiety was self imposed
The next day I had not planned on going any where that day either or having any one come over except my wifes daughter and her kids of which the oldest is three yrs, and they all had seen me crossdressed before. but with no makeup, other then mascara and eyeliner It had taken my wifes daughter a bit to get over seeing me as a crossdresser , but really had no issues with it, she just thinks its a little weird. The kids really don’t know any better and still call me “papa. What I was not expecting was a suprise visit from my wife’s son. I was sitting in the backyard under our gazebo, when she came out and told me her son was here. I was wearing a semi feminine shirt , short shorts , my fingernails were painted a lavender color, I was wearing feminine sandals and my toenails were painted with a lavender sparkley color. I asked her if she wanted me to change clothes, as her son had never seen me dressed in feminine clothes, however she did not hear me , and went out to meet her son. A couple of minutes later they both came to the back where I was, and she said look who’s here!
At first I again was very self conscious , but after a few minutes of visiting, and no negative reaction that I could see, or acknowledgement of what I was wearing, and as the visit went on I mostly forgot also and became more comfortable . So once again my anxiety was self imposed.
I am realizing more and more that people do not really care what you are wearing or what you look like. And if they do look, its just out of curiosity , and if you look back at them they usually just turn away. I will frequently go out and check the mail or take out the garbage while wearing a dress or skirt. I don’t know if the neighbors even notice or not but I have got to the point that I don’t care .
